Introducing, his benevolence, the Earl.

a story
2013-12-15 09:32:03
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The chariot

There is a field north of Fen Byen that borders the forest. Demetrius is just beginning its rounds through the sky, a grey one this morning. The usual sounds of morning wildlife can be heard easily, but among these sounds, a sort of shifting can be heard. If one were to listen closely, they may hear the sound of pistons working. They may hear squeaking metal as if something was not quite oiled right. Unmistakable, however, is a voice singing various dated patriotic songs rather loudly, though surprisingly well. Indeed, if you waited at this field long enough, perhaps for twenty minutes, you would eventually see the source of this ruckus emerging from the tree line; it would be a man in a vest and upper class clothes. This is, however, offset by the colander labeled "Holy Crown" worn on his head the two pairs of goggles worn simultaneously, the untied bow tie, and the fact that his right hand is sheathed in a shoe and his left hand is firmly sheathed in a squirrel. He is riding some sort of sled that drags itself forward on two mechanical legs as he throws five jars in front of him, picking them up and throwing them again as he reaches them. Inside of each jar is a locust and on the side of each one there is a name: Bjorn, Ulfric, Erik, Karl, and Ramirez del Verde. As this odd man throws the jars forward, he pauses his songs to scold each one for their slow and sloppy work pulling the sled. If his path of trajectory continues, he will enter the settlement known as Fen Byen in roughly an hour and a half.

"Erik, I know I told you not to strain yourself, but you're letting poor Ulfric pull the entire right side himself. Pick up the pace!" GYAH! Bjorn, you're falling behind! Do I need to give you the whip? No one likes that, do they? No they don't, that's right, now get into gear. Our citizens need us.

'Rule Titania!
Titania rules on high!
We shall keep your-
 Ramirez del Verde! I expected this kind of sloppy behavior from Karl, but you too? Don't make me turn this chariot around. I'll do it you know! Leaving Ulfric and Bjorn to pull the chariot themselves. You are the laziest pixies I have ever seen."

And so he continued through the morning, making his way slowly but surely to the unsuspecting settlement of Fen Byen.